Heat of silence

Thoughts creating nightmares. Voices around shouting, almost sounding like happiness. Reaching for a fix of nicotine to help ease this horror I feel, but it seems with every breath I feel less of a human being. Staring at the stars wondering how to feel, how to grasp onto something and fall without worrying. Oh how did it feel once when I was just a child. How all seemed so perfect without the world crushing me down.